N♥

I dont know where to begin or how to begin. I moved to my aunts house so i wont spend to much money for fair. And i need this to cause i want to be an indipendent person.  But upon staying on my auntie's house , i also live with my cousin. Well they are older than me. At first im scared. There so much goin on inside my head. 'what ifs' . And that makes me sick. And today its exactly a week after. And i can say that, i feel at home too. Being with them, is just hella rollercoaster emotion. i felt scared, i felt safe. I feel sad. I felt so happy. Tho. i miss them. My family.


Almost everynight i heard them talking to their boyfies'. And you all know that I dont have boyfriend right? But upon hearing those laughter. It made me feel contented. I don't know why. Im just really so happy for them. Seeing them blushing, or making lambing 'voice' make me realize that it's really love that matters after all, i guess.. Im still searching whats the true meaning of love. I don't know why im searching for it. They say the answer will come at the right place and the right time with the right one for you.

Im just a typical teenager who doesn't know how love really goes. I have a lot of questions in my mind that i know i can't answer. But becasue of them(my cousins). They're slowly melting my cold heart. They are slowly breaking the walls that i built a year ago.

And im so happy about that. It makes me feel alive again. It makes me see how wonderful life is.


Well i realize, Love is not all about having a boyfirend that will make you feel kilig. For me, love is all about seeing your loved once happy.