What happened 2018 ?
It's been a while since i posted.
My 2018 was a disaster yet a blessing. My dad got sick, my uncle past away. Like it's been a tough year for me and my family. We never saw it coming- I never saw it coming. but i learned a lot of things last year and im thankful for that. For almost half of i year i experienced living alone. From waking up alone, doing my food all by myself, the chores, the laundry, washing dishes. I learned to be independent somehow, i am paying the bills, i have to go to the grocery, budget my allowance. I experienced to be lazy all day like all i did was to sleep.I don't eat 3 times a day because i have classes and just choose to eat noodles and can goods. Instant. I had to take care of myself when i am sick. Every night i used to cry because im struggling with my studies.
Then December came, i though it was the most wonderful time of the year. And then before christmas past 11 am that is the time when my tito passed away, im devastated and in shock.I called my cousin cause i can't contain my feelings anymore like anytime i'm going to faint, but can't because i don't want my father to worry about me and can't tell him what happen yet cause he's still recovering from stroke. And i have to be a sister to my sister and brother. I'm still hoping that all of it was just a nightmare. Imagine i'm going to the shop at the grocery store for Christmas eve while crying. Like people stares at me because i'm walking alone and cryin at the same time. I spent Christmas day with them. Staring at my tito inside a coffin is like stabbing my own heart and you know the hardest part, i can't cry because it is the time where i have to be strong , i have to be positive, i have to be tough because i know his siblings especially my mom and grandma, needs me. They need someone to lean on. And I can't show them i am weak. You know it's painful to see your tito in a coffin. Like i can't believe it's happening. every time i remember him, all i do was to cry and ask ' for all of the people why him? ' There are a lot of people who deserve it more than him. But still i'm thankful to God, he didn't let me down. I felt his presence when i needed him so much, like he embrace me using the people i love. I may not able to see my uncle, but i can feel that he's guiding me/us. He's been my second dad and my provider. I miss him all the time, but life must go on.
Then 2019. I had a lot of opportunity, it's fun. I knew whose true. Found realest people and met someone. Well technically just a crush. Well i met him at the regional sport fest of our school (march 08), actually that's unexpected because table tennis wasn't really my sport. And im not the sporty type of person, but i don't i guess that experience was for me. And it's a great experience tho. Then yea, apparently i added him in social media and yea we talked. But just like a normal conversation of a new friend ya know. HEHE. Currently,My dad is still recovering and I graduated in my senior year and im going college these year semester 2019 2020. My family are moving forward with the memories of my Tito, and me, I am living with his last advice to me which is, i should and i must finish my study to help my family anddd No boyfriends for the meantime. Haay I didn't know how did we get up everyday knowing that he's gone, but maybe because of God and his unending love for us, we did it. Here are some of my 2018 memories
My 2018 was a disaster yet a blessing. My dad got sick, my uncle past away. Like it's been a tough year for me and my family. We never saw it coming- I never saw it coming. but i learned a lot of things last year and im thankful for that. For almost half of i year i experienced living alone. From waking up alone, doing my food all by myself, the chores, the laundry, washing dishes. I learned to be independent somehow, i am paying the bills, i have to go to the grocery, budget my allowance. I experienced to be lazy all day like all i did was to sleep.I don't eat 3 times a day because i have classes and just choose to eat noodles and can goods. Instant. I had to take care of myself when i am sick. Every night i used to cry because im struggling with my studies.
Then December came, i though it was the most wonderful time of the year. And then before christmas past 11 am that is the time when my tito passed away, im devastated and in shock.I called my cousin cause i can't contain my feelings anymore like anytime i'm going to faint, but can't because i don't want my father to worry about me and can't tell him what happen yet cause he's still recovering from stroke. And i have to be a sister to my sister and brother. I'm still hoping that all of it was just a nightmare. Imagine i'm going to the shop at the grocery store for Christmas eve while crying. Like people stares at me because i'm walking alone and cryin at the same time. I spent Christmas day with them. Staring at my tito inside a coffin is like stabbing my own heart and you know the hardest part, i can't cry because it is the time where i have to be strong , i have to be positive, i have to be tough because i know his siblings especially my mom and grandma, needs me. They need someone to lean on. And I can't show them i am weak. You know it's painful to see your tito in a coffin. Like i can't believe it's happening. every time i remember him, all i do was to cry and ask ' for all of the people why him? ' There are a lot of people who deserve it more than him. But still i'm thankful to God, he didn't let me down. I felt his presence when i needed him so much, like he embrace me using the people i love. I may not able to see my uncle, but i can feel that he's guiding me/us. He's been my second dad and my provider. I miss him all the time, but life must go on.
Then 2019. I had a lot of opportunity, it's fun. I knew whose true. Found realest people and met someone. Well technically just a crush. Well i met him at the regional sport fest of our school (march 08), actually that's unexpected because table tennis wasn't really my sport. And im not the sporty type of person, but i don't i guess that experience was for me. And it's a great experience tho. Then yea, apparently i added him in social media and yea we talked. But just like a normal conversation of a new friend ya know. HEHE. Currently,My dad is still recovering and I graduated in my senior year and im going college these year semester 2019 2020. My family are moving forward with the memories of my Tito, and me, I am living with his last advice to me which is, i should and i must finish my study to help my family anddd No boyfriends for the meantime. Haay I didn't know how did we get up everyday knowing that he's gone, but maybe because of God and his unending love for us, we did it. Here are some of my 2018 memories
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| Graduation w/ the realest people. |
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| The guy that i met in sportfest |
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| Of course still with my high School Friends |
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| That was before our graduation. Thanks to the photographer for capturing my moment with the Lord. |
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| My uncles' wake. And my last message for him. Love you tito, always missin you. |
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