Nicole Says

At seventeen, i can say that im tougher enough to face every challenges. Well evreryday was a do or die for me, i know what does it feel to be a typical teen. Expereincing life struggles like heartaches, being left out/alone. Being bullied(?) and facing the reality that life is tough.  I used to get what i want. But thats before because as of now, we're currently experiencing a crisis. Or financial problem cause my father's been unemployed since 2013. I don't know how my mom and dad handle this situation because i remember we dont have money to live. But they do everything for us to continue our study. I don't know how i handle those problem. I had a lot of breakdowns. Overthinking everything. And before i was really a optimistic  but know i am a pessimist. Yep a nega thinker. i also don't know what happened to me.  But time fly so fast and another year was given to me. I guess i still need to learn a lot. God give me another chance to live and to achieve...

It's been a very long day for me. We just had our farewell party today and it's pretty tiring. We dedicated that party to our dearest teachers who guided us to grow as a better person that we could be. (sorry for the bad grammar). Anyway, we thought that it wouldn't be as successful as we expected but we surely enjoy what we had earlier. Those messeges that will remain as our inpiration and motivation to always look forward. To always be thankful to what we have. to be as thoughtful as our second parents/teachers. To be a good model for the next generation. And to be the person we always want to be. It's a farewell party because we'll be moving out the school and make another step for our future. Because i am a grade 10 student of Special Program for Journalism, here in Tayabas City, Quezon Province Philippines. To my Grade 10 Family thank you for sharing your whole jorney with me. Donna's right even though we don't love each other that mush , your stil...

Actually i don't know what to write. I'm screwed. I'm lost for words. I'm broke, broke not because i don't have valentines date but i'm broke because of my personal issues in life. In short I'm fucked up. My mom and dad don't know I speak bad words. My mom and dad don't know how am i ? I don't know why i keep telling myself 'everything;'s fine' but it seems not. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired being me. I'm tired from everything im going to. I'm not sure if everything will be fine soon? That's one of the reason why i'm a pessimist, because my false hope keep failing. When i was in grade 7 one of my friend told me that "sometimes it's better to think negatively" and i keep on telling him that " no. you should be positive in life all the time". But when i prove myself wrong for that thinking and i prove my friend thinking right. Last year i began to be a pessimist to less ex...

MR. FUTURE by: Nicole Pawang  Hey boy i wanna make you smile  Do you know i wanna be with you all the time  I want to bake a cake specially for you  I want to dedicate this song for you  And someday we're gonna build our own castle for  Soon we're gonna meet each other  Soon we're gonna be together  Soon were gonna marry each other  And someday ill be the one who'll complete you  Then were gonna make our own family  And make them feel the love like you do for me  And lets live happily ever after baby Im getting ready for our future  I hope to make sure that im ready  ause my heart 's been broken many times And Im scared to love someone once again     I made this song for my future boyfriend. Gonna upload the song soon  

It's been a while since i posted here in my blog. Actually i just wanted to share some of my experiences and lesson this past few months. Since the first day of school for me everything was different i don't know but i just feel that. Then that day came. I never had a chance to meet them before. I always thought that those guys were evil, bad influenced and demons (but my ex-crush belong to those group of guys) . I never give them and myself a chance to reach out. I hated them because something happened between them and my friend. I don't like their presence before because they are annoying. But not until that day came. One of my friends have a best friend who unexpectedly fall in love. Yes i can say that it's a big factor and my other friends had a close friends which belonged to those group of guys. And apparently i'm sitting right next to their other friend. When that they came we became 'barkada'. Meeting those guys were pretty cool. And I just prove...

   Three Angles x Devilished Lady  by : Nicole Pawang There are three angles in heaven named Mary Ann, Nicel and Rafaella. From heaven, they happily watch all the living and non-living things in the earth. One day, God called them and said " oh my lovely angels, i have a special mission for you.You need to go to the world right now. Someone needs your help and you're the bset choice for these since she's just like you not like your attitude but your age is exactly like her. the devils inside her are killing her soul you need to get hurry   ". "Really God ? you'll give us a special mission in the earth ?" The three angels exclaimed excitingly. "Yes", answered God. But Nicel asked God again "But how about our wings?". God answered "In the meantime, your wing will stay here withme. Ad I am giving you 30 days for these mission okay angels. Godbless". It's monday so it means school day, for a typical student its no...

A Sad Poem by: Nicole Pawang Every time I close my eyes  If i could just revise  I don't want to live with lies  It hurts to see your smiling not because of me  Playing these piano with a sad melody  And  the violin sounds thee Those dark clouds is like my mind  Who keeps on looking behind Reminiscing every teardrops on my guitar  Wishing you are here tonight.