Nicole Says

Actually i don't know what to write. I'm screwed. I'm lost for words. I'm broke, broke not because i don't have valentines date but i'm broke because of my personal issues in life. In short I'm fucked up. My mom and dad don't know I speak bad words. My mom and dad don't know how am i ? I don't know why i keep telling myself 'everything;'s fine' but it seems not. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired being me. I'm tired from everything im going to. I'm not sure if everything will be fine soon? That's one of the reason why i'm a pessimist, because my false hope keep failing. When i was in grade 7 one of my friend told me that "sometimes it's better to think negatively" and i keep on telling him that " no. you should be positive in life all the time". But when i prove myself wrong for that thinking and i prove my friend thinking right. Last year i began to be a pessimist to less ex...

MR. FUTURE by: Nicole Pawang  Hey boy i wanna make you smile  Do you know i wanna be with you all the time  I want to bake a cake specially for you  I want to dedicate this song for you  And someday we're gonna build our own castle for  Soon we're gonna meet each other  Soon we're gonna be together  Soon were gonna marry each other  And someday ill be the one who'll complete you  Then were gonna make our own family  And make them feel the love like you do for me  And lets live happily ever after baby Im getting ready for our future  I hope to make sure that im ready  ause my heart 's been broken many times And Im scared to love someone once again     I made this song for my future boyfriend. Gonna upload the song soon  

It's been a while since i posted here in my blog. Actually i just wanted to share some of my experiences and lesson this past few months. Since the first day of school for me everything was different i don't know but i just feel that. Then that day came. I never had a chance to meet them before. I always thought that those guys were evil, bad influenced and demons (but my ex-crush belong to those group of guys) . I never give them and myself a chance to reach out. I hated them because something happened between them and my friend. I don't like their presence before because they are annoying. But not until that day came. One of my friends have a best friend who unexpectedly fall in love. Yes i can say that it's a big factor and my other friends had a close friends which belonged to those group of guys. And apparently i'm sitting right next to their other friend. When that they came we became 'barkada'. Meeting those guys were pretty cool. And I just prove...

   Three Angles x Devilished Lady  by : Nicole Pawang There are three angles in heaven named Mary Ann, Nicel and Rafaella. From heaven, they happily watch all the living and non-living things in the earth. One day, God called them and said " oh my lovely angels, i have a special mission for you.You need to go to the world right now. Someone needs your help and you're the bset choice for these since she's just like you not like your attitude but your age is exactly like her. the devils inside her are killing her soul you need to get hurry   ". "Really God ? you'll give us a special mission in the earth ?" The three angels exclaimed excitingly. "Yes", answered God. But Nicel asked God again "But how about our wings?". God answered "In the meantime, your wing will stay here withme. Ad I am giving you 30 days for these mission okay angels. Godbless". It's monday so it means school day, for a typical student its no...

A Sad Poem by: Nicole Pawang Every time I close my eyes  If i could just revise  I don't want to live with lies  It hurts to see your smiling not because of me  Playing these piano with a sad melody  And  the violin sounds thee Those dark clouds is like my mind  Who keeps on looking behind Reminiscing every teardrops on my guitar  Wishing you are here tonight.  

Finally by: Nicole Pawang  I am glad we're okay How are you anyway  Thank you for being honest  I won't do it again I promise I don't care if that chapter has come  to an end  Because now I can say hello  again my friend Excited to be with you again  You know we missed a lot of memories back then  Can we now begin ? So let's start this weekend   Hope to have our closure  But Im sorry I have to act I'm not sure  To know if you care  But please be fair like a square.  Finally were done  Were getting there one by one  Thank you for everyone  Who helped me to this feeling to be gone 

Untitled Poem by: Nicole Pawang Three years had passed Since that day last Can I bring back the past So that I can fix everything we had I regret I loved you More than I should do Because of your clue My dark sky gets blue Will my sorry be enough Why are you so tough I don't know what to say But I want you to stay My mind tells me to stop But my heart says can you not You taught me a lot And I want you to know that i fought Please tell me what's going on Because I feel something's wrong I saw you playing a song But you didn't notice me along How will we get through of this ? When I am always the one who miss I am insecure to every girl you greets Do you want me get to kneel with my knees