Nicole Says

Dearest N,  Hello its been a while since i posted something here in my blog. However I just wanted to update my blog so yea Im here again. Anyways, I prayed for 2023. I really did. I remember it's my bio on my twitter account. BUt actually 2022 was the happiest year so far. Gotta spend my time with family members who are overseas. I witnessed the marriage of my favorite person. We got a new family pictures. I thought 2023 is going to be my year. because 23 is my favorite numbere haha no significance but yea. Besides we started the year, blissfully.  Inspite of that, during the 21st of January ( feasibilty study's final defense) my dad passed away. I have accepetd that my dad won't is gatting old and he's been fighting for 5 years already but i never anticipated this day will come running. Before he died, he knew that he was running out of time. And gladly we have showered our love and we spoiled him already. I know he wanted to stay but it was his body who gave up. I ac...

 Hi N,  Its been a while again since i posted something. Lately i've been feeling blue, i wonder how it feels to be love genuinely by someone. Im no broken. I've been single for so long and some of my friends have their own family. I wonder if I can be able to have it as well. They told me 'it will find you eventually', but for soem reason i feel like im running out of time. Actually, I've entertained someone last year but end up not well. He's far from my ideal but i feel like i have no choice. But guess what because of my recklessness and being in the 'thought' of feeling love, i almost break some girls heart cause i didn't dig deeper. Well im just an amature when it comes to love, yes i know some rules in love but it doesn't mean i can apply em all. Im just a little girl who wishes to be love by someone. To be love by a man. I've been single for so long but i never imagine that it would hurt me this way. Some nights i ask myself, what is w...

It's been a while since i posted. My 2018 was a disaster yet a blessing. My dad got sick, my uncle past away. Like it's been a tough year for me and my family. We never saw it coming- I never saw it coming. but i learned a lot of things last year and im thankful for that. For almost half of i year i experienced living alone. From waking up alone, doing my food all by myself, the chores, the laundry, washing dishes. I learned to be independent somehow, i am paying the bills, i have to go to the grocery, budget my allowance. I experienced to be lazy all day like all i did was to sleep.I don't eat 3 times a day because i have classes and just choose to eat noodles and can goods. Instant. I had to take care of myself when i am sick. Every night i used to cry because im struggling with my studies. Then December came, i though it was the most wonderful time of the year. And then before christmas past 11 am  that is the time when my tito passed away, im devastated and in shock....

Hey there !! Nicole here again. Been a long time and today's Good Friday and today is a perfect day for realizations. I know that a lot of people cannot forgive themselves for something they didn't mean to do. As for me. I also ask that question like every day and every night. People usually told me just to be okay, or 'hey it alright they will forgive you soon.' or the worst is 'the damage has been done so no need to be sorry'. But for me i suffer every night because of guilt. The guilt that i caused so much pain not only to myself but for those people behind it. So how to forgive yourself ? #1  Pray. Talk to God, talk to him and ask some sign and strength to have courage to face very person you bullied or whatever. #2 Reach Out.  Show your sincerity. You have to do the first move, even they pushed you away you can't just give up easily because you made it you turn them in to their limitation. #3 Hear their side.  Listen to them even it hurts you e...

These past months i got to get what i want. What i want... to buy hings i don't really need, Where i want to go without my parents. What i want to eat.  BUUT, now i realize that you really have t choose what is the best for your physical health. Well, im not a nutritionist or health enthusiast this just based on my experience.Lately, I've feel so weak i don't know why but the only reason that comes to my mind is wrong pick of foods and sleeping habit.  Every morning i eat noodle or 'pansit' a filipino food. Well, its kinda good and healthy however i don't eat breakfast everyday, like im havin breakfast three times a week only. Sometimes i also don't eat lunch and sleep instead of eating but i always eat dinner. i know my diet is very poor. I don't know why i keep on doing it but myself know how bad it is.When i don't have classes, i woke up soooo late like 11 or 12  in the afternoon, there's one time i woke up 2 pm. Then i sleep 2-5 am in ...

I dont know where to begin or how to begin. I moved to my aunts house so i wont spend to much money for fair. And i need this to cause i want to be an indipendent person.  But upon staying on my auntie's house , i also live with my cousin. Well they are older than me. At first im scared. There so much goin on inside my head. 'what ifs' . And that makes me sick. And today its exactly a week after. And i can say that, i feel at home too. Being with them, is just hella rollercoaster emotion. i felt scared, i felt safe. I feel sad. I felt so happy. Tho. i miss them. My family. Almost everynight i heard them talking to their boyfies'. And you all know that I dont have boyfriend right? But upon hearing those laughter. It made me feel contented. I don't know why. Im just really so happy for them. Seeing them blushing, or making lambing 'voice' make me realize that it's really love that matters after all, i guess.. Im still searching whats the true meaning of...